Wedding Planning Isn’t So Bad

March 8, 2016

So, how are your wedding plans coming along? This is how the majority of conversations have started for me recently. And that’s fine. I am excited to share how my plans are going. I think most people though are surprised and a little confused to hear me say things like “it’s going really well” or “absolutely fine!” Maybe it’s my general laid-back personality, maybe it’s because my fiance and I gave ourselves two years to plan. But it’s really not that bad…so far. I say that because we still have over a year to go, but I think a lot of our preconceived notions of wedding-related stress comes from what we’ve absorbed from movies, TV, and what the wedding industry in general has fed us. Because that is what it is, it’s an industry. One in which giant companies–whether it is magazines, department stores, party suppliers–seek to make a profit. But in all that mess, you can find some really amazing people who are simply there to make your day as special as you have imagined. You just need to take the time to find them. 

One thing I have tried to keep in mind is that our wedding is about us. On that day, our friends and family will come together to celebrate our marriage. Yes, I’m so excited to be planning a party with food and drinks and music. I am going to wear the fanciest, most beautiful dress I will probably ever wear in my life, and we will be married in front of a large group of people. But the core of what matters most is that we are starting our life together. I am trying my best to maintain a healthy attitude and not get caught up in the small things that are not worth the extra stress. And there are plenty of them out there lurking. Looking to ruin your day one grain of glitter at a damn time. 

So far we have picked a date, venue, church, DJ, photographer, and videographer–all without incident to our physical or mental health. Yes. It’s amazing that we’ve survived isn’t it? 

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It’s extremely easy to get caught up reading every single how-to article, every single message board, every single review on every single wedding-related website. And it’s exhausting. Before you know it, you’re swimming in a giant chocolate fountain and handing out puppies as a favor and getting kicked off your flight to Vegas (I would not be opposed to puppies just FYI). 

Of course, every couple’s situation is different. Everyone has different stresses in their life that can put a damper on the process. But you don’t need to get caught up in the craziness that is the wedding industry in top of it. There are plenty of other more important things to be worried about besides the $80 embroidered robes for your bridesmaids or personalized {insert any item here}, because you can literally slap a monogram on an-y-thing and get charged a premium price. There are so many things that any given wedding blog will make you feel like you NEED to buy. You don’t need to spend money on every little item that a bridal magazine tells you is a MUST HAVE. Guess what–you don’t. You don’t have to do anything you are not comfortable doing.

When we first started planning, I was nervous about getting ripped off or even not being able to afford anything at all. I didn’t want to waste my time or be stressed about dealing with shady people or being worried about the service they would provide. But what you learn very quickly is that you can pick those people out right away, after just a few minutes of speaking to them. Reviews and testimonials absolutely help, but really sitting down and talking to someone is what has worked best for us.

I researched tons of venues and other vendors and I am happy to say that so far, the people we have talked to and decided to book with have been nothing short of amazing and helpful. It was easy to tell when someone was trying to upsell their services, making you feel as though you need to spend an arm and leg to get an amazing, quality day. They started to sound more like car salesmen–not someone I would want to take part in my wedding. You know you have made the right choice when you have no doubt in any particular vendors’ ability to deliver. I am happy to say that I have no doubts or worries about anyone we have booked.

Of course there are still things to do, and it will get more hectic as it gets closer. I know this is fact. I know there will be little things I am going to worry about. I’ve already had couple nightmares and I am fully aware they will continue. But at the end of the day, I’m confident in our choices so far.

I’ve also realized how important it is to incorporate having fun with planning. My fiance and I have done everything together and have collaborated on researching and making decisions. For that, I am so grateful and I know I’m lucky! Since our schedules don’t always match up, especially during the week, most of our planning has been accomplished on weekends. But we’ve taken advantage of that time together. After some meetings that we’ve had, we went out to dinner afterward or have done something else fun along with it. We found some great antiques to incorporate into our decor in a shop during our trip upstate this past fall. After our last pre-cana class, we spent the rest of the day in Manhattan and went out to eat.

The point I’m trying to make is planning a wedding doesn’t have to be this ridiculous, frenzied tornado of stress. It’s what you make of it, and it can be a lot of fun. Sure, there are stressful moments, but those moments shouldn’t cast a cloud over the entire process. Step away from Pinterest and away from wedding websites for a bit and do what is right for you.Take a step back and remember what brought you to this point. 

Now please excuse me while I go pin some photos of flower arrangements. Just kidding…sort of.

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